L'shanah tovah!

As some of you know, this weekend will usher in Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year. This means several things, firstly (and most importantly to me) that the illustrious N is home in Baltimore to celebrate with her family. With a few side trips to see friends and defend her dissertation. NBD, she's gonna nail it. She's awesome like that.

In this process of Fit Anniversary, as well as a few other processes at work in my life currently, I've gotten to thinking a lot about fresh starts.

One belief that resonates for me during this holiday is that everyone deserves and receives a second chance, even if it's their 100th one. With the new year comes renewed opportunity.  You don't have to be Jewish to appreciate this notion. In fact, a comfort if my own spiritual beliefs is knowing that you are forgiven, accepted and loved, just by virtue of the fact that you exist. Back in the days of being a budding therapist, I would be so nervous, unsure of myself, and so desperate to be helpful, I would work myself into being completely absent from the relationship I had so graciously been invited to participate in. And lord knows, that is most definitely NOT helpful. So I would take a moment out before every therapy and supervision session to remind myself:

You are a beloved child of God.

And no matter what else happened, I knew that much to be true. Sometimes, when I was feeling particularly inept or lost, I would cast off the mantra as nothing but a more sincere or fevered rendition of Stuart Smalley's. But the truth of it tugged at the corner of my mind, ready to be reinvoked when I was ready.

Oh, sure there are plenty of facts about me too. Fact: I am overweight, I am hyperresponsive. I am sometimes selfish, avoidant, and shortsighted. Occasionally I am vindictive, lazy, and judgmental.

And there is also the Truth with a capital T: that I am a beloved child of God.  It is precisely the two sides of this very human struggle are why fresh starts and second chances are so important. Now, this does not mean that we are unaccountable or pushovers or have license to behave in whatever way we choose without consequence. This whole weigh loss adventure is pure proof of that. Fact: eat with reckless abandon, avoid exercise like the plague, get fat. AND YET. The truth is that, as a creature of this wondrous universe, I am offered chance upon chance upon chance to try again.  And this is a good thing because last night, after a number of hoppy beverages and mourning the loss of the Ravens, the marvelous M convinced me to split a crab pretzel with her.

But today is a new day.  To atone for our crab pretzel and as an excuse to hang out on a beautiful day, the marvelous M, her dog and I went for a two-hour hike in the woods.  My second two-hour hike in three days!  I'm aware that hiking is not running or lifting, but for the time being, I'm ok with just getting my heart rate up every day and not eating like a schmuck.  In the celebration of new beginnings and fresh starts, I am trying to be less hard on my self and bit more forgiving in my efforts to be a healthier person.  Ok, beers and crab pretzels are not good choices. But today is a new day.  A fresh start.  Another chance to live in the spirit of the person I want to be.

And for that, I am grateful. 

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Thanks to the lovely L for posting the article about Rosh Hashanah!  And thank you also to the illustrious N for patiently introducing me not only to Jewish faith and customs, but also to this concept of "working out," running and actually going to the gym, and especially for being such a wonderful friend.  Knock 'em dead, girl!