"I think I can, I think I can..."

...said the girl who hates exercising.

Do you think it matters that I never actually read this book?

I am really trying though.  I've been to the gym 3 days in a row, going for 4 later tonight thanks to the FAC's weird hours (who's open till 11:30pm on a Sunday?  Oh well, I'll take it).  One gym incident I'm particularly proud of was going one morning when I wasn't "firing on all cylinders," as my dad likes to say.  It would have been very easy to convince myself to stay in bed and lounge about the house.  But instead, not only did I work out, but I then walked the mile and a bit to my friend M's house and then walked around some more, before trodding back to my place in the pouring rain (I figure I burned more calories with the deluge as an obstacle).  And I felt great!  Totally sweated out whatever yuckiness was hanging on to me that day.

I used to have a lot of rules for the gym, but it was mostly to do with avoiding things I didn't like.  Back in the day when the Illustrious N first introduced me to the idea of "going to the gym," like, a co-ed one with weights and stuff, I was convinced that I couldn't eat before exercising because it made me nauseous (turns out if you don't stuff yourself at every opportunity during the day, you don't feel sick when you work out.  Amazing.)  I also liked going first thing in the morning, to "get it out of the way," and because going later ensured that I had eaten something already and then it was all downhill from there. Another rule was that I had to do both cardio and weights, and if there was only time for one, then there might as well not be time for either, so forget it. I recognize that I had built a tapestry of rules to make it more and more impossible for me to actually exercise, so I'm attempting to give some of that up.  Especially by going at times when it's convenient, rather than only going first thing or not at all.  Just because I like going in the morning better doesn't mean that life works out that way.  And, as we are teaching my goddaughter, sometimes we have to do things we don't like. So I'm mixing it up.  Hopefully tonight J and I will have a late-night gym date at like 10pm or something.

Eventually, I'm going to need plan for going to the gym that involves more than trying to survive Couch to 5K.  Everyone seems to have a different opinion on this, which is great, because I love hearing them all and getting ideas.  My former WW buddy and good friend H (who as recently slimmed down like nobody's business and looks effin' fabulous) touted her love of weight training in her journey to healthfulness, so I tried some yesterday, which was good.  But I definitely need a plan.  And I don't think I can just do what J does but less poundage.  I'm considering ordering (is that what you call it? ha) a personal trainer for a couple of sessions to help me come up with a plan.  However, I have a slightly more ballsy endeavor waiting for me and I just need to get on it...more on that later, promise.  But all that'll have to wait another week, as it's back to reality starting tomorrow.

As you might expect, things are sore. Various parts of my body are beginning to crack, creak & cry out when I do something in a way it doesn't like. It's not that I mind this part so much, but it makes me painfully aware that I'm not getting any younger, and I'm always afraid some ouchy part will be permanent or damaging. Long gone are the days of twisting my ankle every other week playing volley ball in middle school and walking it off.  I actually understand why coaches make kids do that now --  "Trust me, buddy, you CAN walk it off. Someday, "walking it off" will not solve this problem, so for the time being, suck it up."

Perk #1 of Fit Anniversary: new clothes.  Actually, I hope this will be an ongoing perk, come to think of it.  But in this case, they are all ginormously-sized workout clothes from my favorite store: the Bullseye Boutique (think about it...get it?!  Hilarious.).  Lord help a girl with a rediscovered Target gift card in her wallet and all the gym clothes on supersale. Apparently this is a trait I inherited from my Grandma Marge, who could never resist a good sale, and would spend just as much money and twice as much time in her hunt for a good bargain.  "Nine bucks? Cool. Wait, this is SIX dollars?  This too?!" and then I sort of black out until I get up to the register and observe the climbing total.  Luckily we can afford it (for now) and I'm convinced that brightly colored gear in blues and pinks and purples will be a bit more inspiring for the gym than the same black gym shorts I've had since I was in high school and some over-sized commemorative t-shirt from events and vacations past.  J's concern was that (hopefully) they won't fit me for long, but truthfully that's a problem I'd love to have.

PS -- thank you to all the church-folk who were so supportive about this project today! I've really appreciated all the notes, comments and cheerings-on.  Seriously guys, this is more helpful that I can even describe. It's also been nice to hear that my endeavors have been inspiring for others as well.  Let's keep it up, folks!  "I think we can, I think we can..."  :)