Saturday, January 19, 2013

A Taste for Travel

When I was growing up, we never ate fast food.  Ok, not never, but very rarely.  In fact, the only time we stopped at a McDonald's, Burger King or Taco Bell was on road trips, and long ones at that.  Usually to the UP to see my paternal extended family, which was in and of itself a treat. The trip took at least 8 hours, and that's a long time for two sisters to sit next to each other without devolving into fits of rage and tears. So my parents plied us with delicious, salty, foreign food, often accompanied by an attached playground/ballpit.

To this day, when I'm traveling, I crave fast food.  Big surprise, that's how conditioning works.

Now, under normal circumstances, this wouldn't be a problem. What's a burger and greasy fries between the occasional airport? But in the past few weeks (erm, Thanksgiving maybe?), I have been traveling a LOT.  An abnormal amount, all in the name of Internship Interview Insanity. From January 1st through 25th, I will be home with my beloved exactly 5 days. Woah. On it's own, this is ridiculous. But in the context of Fit Anniversary, this means lots of time on the road, not a lot of funds or perishables, and lots and lots of airports. These facts, combined with my early association of travel with treating myself to fast food, have made things quite...well, fattening. Add the emotional stress of interviews and missing my hubband on top of that and my resolve against fat and carbs has all but disintegrated.

But, here I am, owning up to it...that counts for something, right?

The truth is, on non-food fronts, I feel good.  Like, really good. I feel comfortable in my skin when I sit with the parade of psychologists and training directors I have met in recent weeks.  I know what I'm talking about, and I can communicate that adequately, if not eloquently at times. I have as vision for what I want to do with my life, I believe in it and in myself, and (so far) it seems I can make other people envision that as well. This biatch is bringing it from Baltimore, and it feels good.

And the places I've traveled have been pretty amazing too. I've gotten to catch up with some really great people, and I've been warmly embraced by pretty much every town I've been to, thanks to lovely folks scattered around the country.  Almost all of the sites I've visited feel like good fits; some more than others, but pretty much all of them are places where I could be myself, the atmosphere more than conducive to learn and grow and blossom into a full-fledged Docta. And after almost a year of bullshit, that feels really, really good.

I'm not sure what else I can say about it. As I write, I'm sipping a local brew and munching on even more carbs. I'll probably eat poorly for dinner too.  And when traveling tomorrow.  And then on Sunday when I leave again, this time to play with the Magnificent M, whom I haven't seen in forever and am SO looking forward to hugging, chatting, and catching up. There we are, reasons to celebrate, AKA: reasons to eat poorly.  So Fit Anniversary is not on track at the moment.  I'm flubbery and full in the face. And while I don't want things to stay this way, for now...I'm ok with it.  Because I can honestly say that, by in large, I feel good about myself. Truly, genuinely good.

And that will have to be enough for now.

Gateway Arch, St. Louis, Missouri. AKA: potential new home #9