Petulance and Purgatory

Much of my mental state at the moment can be summed up in this statement:

I don't wanna.

How I feel...often.

I don't wanna eat right. I don't wanna exercise. I don't wanna do laundry. I don't wanna clean the house. I don't want to write notes.  I don't want to sit at the computer doing the job I get paid to do. And I certainly don't wanna keep WAITING.

Recognizing the wisdom in all the standard adages about patience (good things come to those who wait, a watched pot never boils, etc), this particular brand of suspense has run it's course. When you get down to it, I've been waiting for the next phase of my life to start for a year now. And I am soooo over it.

The lovely C pointed out (as she is an excellent therapist and an even better friend) that in a mere 10 days, some big changes will be set in motion. And at this point, I have absolutely no control over them. In mere months I will move to an entirely new part of the country - alone. I will have to leave the strong supports with which I have been blessed here Baltimore. And. For the first time in my career I will have the opportunity to do what I love every day. I will considerably expand my knowledge, skills and network, setting the tone for the next phase of my career. February 22, 2013 and all the machinations set in motion by it will be thrilling, and bittersweet in some real ways. And it cannot come soon enough.

After two solid days of tantrums unbecoming of a grown ass woman, I was inspired/guilted into some exercise by friends near and far. I ran jogged for 3ish miles, then indulged in a very belated issue of Vogue on the stationary bike for 4ish miles. And as much as I hated it, as much as I still feel whiny and annoyed by the state of my life as it stands at the moment, the movement felt good. Plus it gave me the willpower to drive past the pizza place in favor of healthier (and, frankly, yummier) leftovers at home.

Small victory for today, but! it's better than pouting and wishing for things to be different. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Purple Pride

Sports do not come naturally to me. (I know, you're so surprised, right?) I only learned to understand football as a devoted marching band member. That said, as a boisterous, enthusiastic, and (above all) LOUD person, I am a very good cheerleader. And I am very indiscriminate in my cheerleading -- I will be just as enthusiastic for bocce as for basketball, as fervent for football as for foosball  .

Purple skyline, purple soup.

It is a lovely coincidence that the team color for my adopted-home-town team here in Baltimore is purple, as purple is my favorite color. Makes it very easy to get dressed up in support of the Ravens. Even more awesome is how fired up this town gets about its sports teams. Os, Ravens--there are a lot of birds in this town, and people love the shit out of them. I'm ok with that. I like the enthusiasm. I also like purple. Pretty much everyone in this town is busy decking themselves and their surroundings out in purple paraphernalia in preparation for tomorrow (there's this game happening, perhaps you've heard?).  In tribute, I wore purple pretty much every day this week and painted my nails a lovely shimmery dark plum hue (shout out to the MIL for an excellent stocking stuffer). But...it's me we're talking about, so naturally I was searching for a purple-tinged food to make for this weekend as well.  Cupcakes? Cookies? Something with eggplant?

Lo and behold, when getting creative in the lunch-making department today, my purple food found me.  And! Because it's delicious and healthy, I shall share it with you all!

Purple Soup

Ingredients:

• 1 lb ground beef
• 1 15.5 oz can chickpeas
• 1 (ish) cup frozen green beans
• 1 c forbidden rice
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• 6-8 cups water and chicken or beef bouillon to taste OR stock.
• several handfuls of chopped fresh kale
• Za'atar, salt and pepper

Directions:

1. Brown beef in the bottom of a large pot or dutch oven. Remove from pot and drain. Saute onion and garlic in the same pot on medium high so they pick up the flavor from the beef. Use a little bit of water to deglaze the bottom of the pot and infuse the veggies with the meaty flavor. Return beef to the pot. 
2. Drain and rise chickpeas, add those to the mix. Season with S&P. Let these hang out together about 3-4 minutes.
3. Add stock/water+bouillon. I used chicken bouillon and lots of water, because that's what I had. It would have tasted great with beef broth/bouillon too. Just be careful not to add so much that there's no room for things to boil.
4. Add the green beans (straight from frozen). You are now permitted to add the forbidden rice.
5. Dump a whole bunch of za'atar in there. I'm guessing 1-2 tablespoons. Honestly, I have no idea what's in it. The illustrious N introduced me to it way back in our first year and I've been using it to season soups, sauces and dips ever since.  Check out the wiki article, very informative!  
6. Add some cracked black pepper, probably 1-2 teaspoons worth. Bring the whole thing to a rolling boil, then cover and reduce heat to medium low. Let burble for 25 minutes, stirring occasionally.
7. Add chopped kale, stir into soup and let bubble away for another 5 or so minutes. Voila!

As the rice cooks it turns the soup this lovely deep purple color, which contrasts with the bright green kale.  It's a hearty soup; the flavors are subtle but interesting and cohesive. To be real, I'll probably add even more za'tar next time. An unexpectedly purple treat to prepare for tomorrow. GO RAVENS!